an INVISIBLE disease

When you look at me, you wouldn’t think I have a life-changing disease like multiple sclerosis. When you look at me I imagine you see a smart and capable woman. You see a mother who is also a successful scientist. You see a generous friend who is also an athlete. You see someone who is fulfilled by life and wanting to give back. That’s all me. What you don’t see is someone who has limited feeling in her right arm and tingling and numbness extending all the way down to the toes on her right leg. You don’t see the loss of hearing in her right ear and the constant ringing from the damage to her auditory nerve. You don’t see the fatigue as she continues to achieve as much as she can each day. That’s all me too.

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what a BAD day looks like

For those of you who have been following my story you may see that I focus on the positives. I try to approach my condition with what I call mindful acceptance. I have this condition, I can’t cure it, so I accept it for what it is, allow myself to experience my symptoms, acknowledge they are there, and work my hardest to improve myself as I always have. My MS is comparatively mild to what others experience, and no two people are the same. This is my experience, and like everyone I have my bad days and I wanted to share with you what that looks like.

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finding the POSITIVES in a pandemic

Over the past few weeks, even months, I have seen a lot of negative energy on the rise and understandably so. We are facing a life-changing pandemic. In Australia people are panicking and that is partly due to the effect of the virus, partly to the insecurity of jobs and the ability to provide for yourself and your loved ones, partly due to the overall uncertainty of what our future entails – though it is becoming abundantly clear a global recession is on the cards, and partly it is due to our government appearing slow to act and inconsistent in the messages they are sending, if they are sending any at all. These times are worrisome. For someone with MS the thought of getting Covid-19 and there not being a hospital bed available for me is a little terrifying. But, there are a lot of good things to take advantage of at this time and actions you can take to make your experience the best it can be during times of such uncertainty.

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LIVING with ms as a partner

Shortly after the arrival of our son, my Partner, Eliza, was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. For the previous few months I had noticed that she was having difficulty walking straight, would lose her balance at random in the hallway. Vertigo was our laymen diagnosis. When it didn’t go away, and instead started to get worse, I insisted that we go to the G.P. Eliza has a history of head tramua from a childhood of accidents which she blamed irregularities on, but this was a little different, more acute and more pronounced.

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my DIAGNOSIS story

In September 2018 I had my first baby, a little boy we named Maximus. I immediately fell in love and all the things I had worried about before he was born vanished. Everything felt so right and so easy. I experienced the expected things like postpartum depression and terrible troubles with breastfeeding but despite the random tears and breakdowns, and the incredible pain and guilt trying to feed my baby boy, I felt so happy. But 3 months later things changed.

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